"The christian gospel is about the "glory of Christ" not about me, and when it is-in some measure about me, it is not about my being made much of by God but about God mercifully enabling me to enjoy making much of Him forever." This is a quote by John Piper and it pretty much sums up how I wanted to live this year. However, this year is coming to an end. As I look back, I see how so many things have change, most for the better. Last year my "new year's resolution" was to be more diligent in my quiet times and to make more of an effort to glorify God, through everything. To spend more time on others rather than myself. As this year's end approached I can say I have been more diligent, but still not what I want to be.
Throughout this year my lesson has been trust, self-control in submitting, and patience. There have been times where I've been faithful in them, and other times I've failed miserably. Thank God for second chances. I've learned how to go to God for everything. To trust him fully, to be honest with Him. Charles spurgeon said, "If God cares for you, why need you care too? Can you trust him for your soul and not for your body? He has never refused to bear your burdens. He has never fainted under the weight. Come, then, soul! Be done with fretful care and leave all thy concerns in the hands of a gracious God." One of my biggest struggles is to keep things inside and not let them out. I can handle it on my own, right? Wrong. This has only lead to frustration when I realize I can't do it on my own. God already knows all my thoughts, all my struggles, all my burdens. In me telling Him, shows my trust in Him, knowing he is every bit capable of carrying them. One of my favorite quotes from Adrian Rodgers says, "Has it ever occurred to you than nothing occurs to God?" Y'all, nothing takes God by surprise. To surrender all into the hands who made the world, died for us and knows everything. What could be better? What could bring more peace and comfort? Nothing. There's no better place. Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare, and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." A popular verse that's everywhere during graduation, but ya know, so many of those 'popular' verses I have read and thought "that's a good verse" without really reading and thinking about it. God KNOWS the plans, and they're not bad plans, they're plans to give us a future and a hope. Hope in Christ. My favorite part comes after verse 11, it goes on to say, "Then you will call upon me and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart." Seek Him, with ALL your heart. Not just a portion, but all of it. This is hard to do, so many things get in the way and distract us from us giving all our heart. The hard part is that some of those things that distract us aren't necessarily bad things! Sports aren't bad, school isn't bad, work isn't bad, friends and relationships aren't bad, but when we let those things get in the way and distract us, they become bad. I often have to ask myself, "where are my priorities?" "what is most important here?". Many times my priorities get way out of whack and it takes Scripture or people in my life to get me back on track.
There are two verses that I always go to that get me through whatever I'm goin through. The first is Psalms 37:4-5 which says, "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and He will act." If I'm delighting in the Lord and truly seeking Him, my desires become His desires. Those desires will be fulfilled because they're in His will. They will be fulfilled in His timing, which is perfect. For example, my desire is to get married and be a godly wife and mother. I'm sure that's in God's will, but not right now. God never disappoints, his ways are so much better than ours and more than we can imagine. Which brings me to my second verse in Isaiah 55:8, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts neither are my ways your ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and thoughts higher than your thoughts. What a humbling verse, and one that should excite! Knowing what God has in store and it's more than we could ever dream of!
This year has brought many challenges, tears, memories that will stay with me forever. Many lessons learned and, well, I'm still learning. I've experienced God's forgiveness, felt His grace and know that however many times I fail, His love is still unfailing. How amazing. So for this coming year (2010) I learn from my mistakes and press on towards the goal in becoming more like Christ. No, it's not going to be easy. Many changes will be coming, I finish my last year in high school, finish my second semester of college, possibly spend the summer in the Middle East, and many decisions that will affect the rest of my life. (No pressure, right!) I will hold on to two promises: I will not be given anything I can't handle, through His grace, and the joy of the Lord will be my strength (Nehemiah 8:10).
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