The only One

It's sad how easily it is to lose track of what is most important in life by getting distracted by life. Ya know? Maybe you don't. What I'm saying is what's most important in life (God, family, relationships) can be so easily set aside for trivial things in life (job, daily responsibilities, chores, etc). Unfortunately, this is where I have been. I have been so dry lately. Life has gotten so busy that I've just been on auto-pilot going on and doing things that I have to do without doing what is most important. I am so thankful God is so patient with me.

It's amazing how just reading God's Word can refresh my soul and lift my spirit. And it only takes one verse. I can read one thing and almost instantly I am refreshed and my thoughts are on the right track again. His word is truly living and I'm just in awe and humbled by Him. There is no other who can love me like Him. No joy apart from him. Everything I need is found in Him. So why run but only to Him!

The More I Seek You (Kari Jobe)

The more i seek you,
the more i find you.

The more i find you,
the more I love you

I wanna sit at your feet
drink from the cup in your hand.
Lay back against you and breath,
hear your heart beat

This love is so deep,
it's more than I can stand.
I melt in your peace, it's overwhelming

When Nothing Makes Sense.

Things happen in life. Crazy things.
Things you never thought would happen to you.
Then they happen.
You're not prepared for it, why would you be?
It would never happen to you, right?
But it does. And you have to deal with it.
Not only does it happen, but it happens at the worst of times.
Everything seems to just fall apart.
When it rains, it pours...or so the saying goes.
Even still, life goes on, whether you want it to or not.

It's crazy and a bit frightening how circumstances can completely turn everything around. They can make you think about things you wouldn't have thought of beforehand. They make you realize things you previously wouldn't have. They make you realize everything you take for granite. They challenge you.
The easiest thing you can do when something major happens is to throw everything away, let yourself go and turn your back on those closest to you and more importantly, God. It's so easy to blame everything on all you've ever known and "start over", erase everything and forget.
But you know that's wrong.
You know you can't blame it on those things.
You know what's right.
You know the only one who can heal.
He, of all people, went through the worst circumstances.
He died for people who turned their back on Him, yet, He gave His own life for them even still.
That's power.
That's commitment.
That's grace.
That's mercy.
That's forgiveness.
That's love.

Even through the worst of times, for me-as a believer saved by the blood of Jesus Christ, I know....I know, there is always hope. Always. How do I know this?

Lamentations 3:22-24 says,"The unfailing love of the LORD never ends! By his mercies we have been kept from complete destruction. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each day. I say to myself, "The LORD is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him!"

And many other countless verses with promises that are true.
In the darkness, there is always light.
In the drought, there is always refreshment.
For our God reigns, and He never abandons His children.
He never leaves.
He never forsakes.

I know, most of this probably doesn't make sense to you. My thoughts are good at not making sense to anyone but me. But that's okay. If nothing else makes sense, maybe this will:

All Because of This-Mercy Me
Why do we do the things we do
How can we sing when there seems no reason to
How do we smile when there's not much to smile about
When the world is down who are we to stand and shout
They wonder why we do the things we do

It's all because of this
It's all because of this
We've tasted love, tasted hope, tasted holiness

He is the reason for the things we do. He is our hope. He's our comfort.

"The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who saves; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you with his love; he will exalt over you with loud singing."
Zephaniah 3:17

What a wonderful Father.

Just the beginning.

In my mind it would be easy. It’s the way I had always dreamed it would be. Little did I know that it would be the hardest thing yet. So much submitting. So much trusting. After the fight, when I finally laid it down, then it was when blessing came. I still don’t know how it will turn out. I still have to trust and take a leap of faith. But God is faithful. He is good. I’m so amazed and overwhelmed by His love. I’d been fighting for so long. When I was at my lowest point, when He brought me down and I finally surrendered, He blessed. How very good the Lord is. To Him be the glory.

Don't worry. Be happy.

Well, I know it's been a while. I've started to write several times and just couldn't finish for whatever reason. It's been pretty busy here. A lot has happened. I spent the summer in Alabama at a girl's missions camp. That was....challenging. My patience and gentleness was tested quite a bit. Spending a week with 10 girls under 10 aint the easiest thing to do, especially in the hot summer! But God was faithful in equipping me with the strength I needed. Anyways, that's not what I wanted to say here. God brought something to my attention here recently that when I realized what it was, it felt like 100 pounds was lifted off my shoulders. I was able to rest and was so much more peaceful afterward. That thing I let go of was worry.

It's so easy to do. I'm a perfectionist and I find myself worrying about things, specifically the future and if I'm making the right choices regarding the future. For a good while I lived like that. I didn't realize what I was doing, til recently. Now, I see what it did. Several things I noticed that worry does:
1) Robs you of your peace. Instead of resting in God, you get restless.
2) It says that God is not big enough for my problems. I have to worry about this because God can't handle it. Even though I have no control over it, neither does God...wrong.
3) It shows we have a weak and faithless heart. Life is never certain, everyone knows that. What we do with that uncertainty is important. We can either have faith and trust God with it, or pretty much let it eat us alive. It takes a lot to not worry about something, it's not easy...but it is a choice.
4) It hinders any growth. It paralyzes us. Worry pulls you in two different directions, and you're stuck in the middle. You can either trust God with it and give it to him, or you can try and do it on your own (and most likely fail)...you're stuck in between those, and it paralyzes you.
5) It hinders us from experiencing things that we could experience if we trust God with everything. I hear time after time, as soon as let go of ________, "this" happened. God wants our heart. He wants our trust. Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your path."

Once we lay our worries at the foot of the cross?
We have peace. We trust that God is sovereign and in control. We have confidence. Psalm 112:6-8 says, "Surely he will never be shaken; a righteous man will be remembered forever. He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD. His heart is secure, he will have no fear; in the end he will look in triumph on his foes." Does that sound like a person who worries? No, it sounds like a person who is trusting in the Lord and is confident in Him.

I'll just say, that after I realized all these things I was worrying about were not of God, but lies that the devil was throwing at me; once I gave it the Lord it felt like 100 other things got thrown at me. By the grace of God I was able to see them clearly and deal with them the right way. Satan knows our weaknesses, he knows where to get us. We have to be extra guarded and be ready to defend the lies, cause it's easy to fall into them.

“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."

(Matthew 6:25-34)

Who's pleasing you?

"Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ." Gal. 1:10

I'll be the first to confess that often times I am more worried about pleasing others than God. Before I make a decision, sometimes my first thought is, "what would he/she think of this?" rather than "what would God want me to do." It's something I definitely have to work on. A commentary I read on this verse said this, "Whom we seek to please shows who pleases us. The more Christ pleases, the more earnestly shall we seek to please Him in all we say and do and think." Ouch! If I'm seeking to please others, that's saying that I don't find all my pleasure in Christ alone. That He is not sufficient for me, that I'm not satisfied in Him. How terrible! Since I've become a follower of Christ, what is my aim in life? To please my Savior. So why do I want to please others? Well, cause I don't want to look like a fool? Is the gospel foolish? "For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God" 1 Corinthians 1:18 says. It's foolish to those who are perishing. And will it really matter at the end of my life if a few people on the earth thought I was a bit crazy and foolish for being a christian? I really don't think I'll care too much about that. I shouldn't want to please others more than God. My heart should not be divided. Matthew 6:24 says, "No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other." My life is devoted to God, I surrendered my life to Him, He should be my focus. If we lived to please God entirely with everything we do, I wonder how different our lives would be, or even the world would be. Whom do you find your most pleasure, is it people around you, or God?

Pressing on towards the goal

I can't think of a better feeling than to hear my mom or dad say, "I'm proud of you" or "Good job". It's the greatest feeling 'cause I feel like I'm doing something right. From all the times I mess up, it's nice to know that I'm not a total failure. lol. My dad doesn't give out compliments flippantly, but every now and then he'll tell me, "Ya know, you're a good kid." That means a lot.

There's nothing more that I want than to get to heaven and hear "well done, my good and faithful servant." It's one thing to please my earthly father (and mother) but wow, my Heavenly Father. It's hard to think that someone like me could please God who is so holy. I certainly don't live in light of that every day. I let my flesh get in the way so many times. I don't love like I should. I'm not always patient. I'm very much not always selfless. The list could go on. My desire is to please my Father and King. And the constant daily struggle to live a holy life, to die to my flesh, to be pure...all these things we are called to do that in our flesh we don't want to do; it's so worth putting those things down and fighting them to hear at the end of my life, "Well done, my good and faithful servant." It's worth the fight, it's worth the struggle to keep persevering. And we don't have to do it alone! God gives us the grace to endure. 2 Corinthians 12:9 tells us, “But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." So whenever my little brother or sister is just annoying the heck out of me and I really want to say something ugly and I resist, it's His grace that enables me to die to myself. (I know that's a weak example, but it's all I could come up with at the moment). And I give God glory for that, because I know I couldn't do it on my own. It's emptying me of myself. Jeremy Camp has a song that I love (I love all his songs), but this particular one is called Empty Me. I love the chorus, and it goes like this,

"Holy Fire burn away,
my desire for anything
that is not of you and is of me,
I want more of you and less of me, yeah.
Empty me,
Empty me, yeah,
Fill, won't you fill me,
with you, with you, yeah."


So...I totally went off track here. Sorry. But to get back on track, I was talking about heaven, thinking of how great it will be when we get there. I think of the moment when Jesus comes back, the relief. It's like when you study for days or even weeks and months over a really huge test, and it's exhausting and you don't like it, it's hard. But you press on and keep doing it because you know you have a goal to reach, and that goal is a big fat 'A'. So after all those long days you spend disciplining yourself and learning you finally take the test. You get the results back and there is the big fat 'A'. The relief that comes over you is beyond words. All your hard work payed off and now it's over, no more tests, no more long days of pouring over information. Just like this life is a test for us, and every day we try to do better, we work and discipline ourselves towards our goal. Our goal is heaven. Then after our time is up, the test is over. Knowing that all the hardships, all the trials, all the tears and pain will be no more. It's over. Finished. Now we get to sit at our Savior's feet and worship Him with the angels. To sit in His glory. I can't wait. I'm reminded more and more that this is not our home, we are only passing through. We have a job to do, that is to tell others about our wonderful Heavenly Father, to glorify Him in all that we do, and spread the love of Christ. Don't lose sight of the Mission, we're not finished yet!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-U-hOMunpWo

Love

I came across this poem the other day, and initially someones reaction would probably be, "Aww, that's so sweet." I had a slightly different reaction. Even thought this poem was speaking of someone else, I found it awfully self-centered. Here's what it said:

I love you for giving your heart to me
and trusting me with your pride
I love you for wanting me
and needing me by your side
I love you for the emotions
i never knew i had
I love you for making me smile
whenever I feel sad
I love you for your thoughts of me
and for how you make me feel
But most of all I love you
'cuz I know you're mine for real.

That to me, is loving someone for what they do for you, not for loving the person. It's selfish to love someone for their 'thoughts of me' and 'how you make me feel'. I'm not saying that those things are bad necessarily, I'm sure they're all true and nice. My problem with this poem is this: should it be the reason you love someone? I don't think so. Your love for someone should not be based off of all the things they do for you. Think of God's love. We did nothing worth loving, yet He still loves us and gave His son for us. Am I overreacting and reading into things too much? maybe so (lol). I just think so much of relationships today are based off of what he/she did or didn't do for me. Or how he/she makes me feel, how he/she isn't paying attention to me or giving me what I need. You get the point. Selfless love, that's how God loves us, that's how we should love.